Hello!
I hope you have been enjoying the tour posts and music reviews this week. As you know I have a small addiction to Lillie McFerrins Five Sentence Fiction. This weeks was unexpected and it took a moment before something came to me. I wanted to avoid the conquering purely of emotional turmoil as I have a tendency to go for that. I hope I have managed to express the character as he conquers both the mental and the physical whilst still giving a complete story. I do try to select a scene that hints at the past and nods to the future. Anyway, enough of all that waffle, as usual, all comments greatly appreciated.
He glanced behind to see if he could find a way to move further back, but the one thousand men and boys were staying close together, as they anticipated the Commanders signal.
It was not his first battle, he had been trained to fight for twelve of his sixteen years, but there would be no tomorrow if they were to lose today.
He couldn't let his fear defeat him, he was here to defend the lives of those he loved and he was prepared to do so to the death.
As the Commander gave the battle cry Michael and the others returned it in unison and moving as one they ran forward, weapons cocked, eyes wide, blood searing through their veins, the enemy in sight.
I hope you have been enjoying the tour posts and music reviews this week. As you know I have a small addiction to Lillie McFerrins Five Sentence Fiction. This weeks was unexpected and it took a moment before something came to me. I wanted to avoid the conquering purely of emotional turmoil as I have a tendency to go for that. I hope I have managed to express the character as he conquers both the mental and the physical whilst still giving a complete story. I do try to select a scene that hints at the past and nods to the future. Anyway, enough of all that waffle, as usual, all comments greatly appreciated.
Conquer
In the mad rush to bear arms and stand firm, young Michael had found himself pushed to the front of the army, he would be one of the first to battle.He glanced behind to see if he could find a way to move further back, but the one thousand men and boys were staying close together, as they anticipated the Commanders signal.
It was not his first battle, he had been trained to fight for twelve of his sixteen years, but there would be no tomorrow if they were to lose today.
He couldn't let his fear defeat him, he was here to defend the lives of those he loved and he was prepared to do so to the death.
As the Commander gave the battle cry Michael and the others returned it in unison and moving as one they ran forward, weapons cocked, eyes wide, blood searing through their veins, the enemy in sight.
Another panoramic picture using a postcard format!..Your unfailing ability to venture beyond the restrictions of any particular style...is both refreshing and enviable....Well done you talented sod!..( oops )...lopl..;)
ReplyDeleteHaha...thanks...I think?! I LOVE postcards :D
DeleteOnce again you manage to paint a complex, beautiful scene with a tiny brush. You're awe-inspiring Katy!
ReplyDeleteThanks Hap....and who has a tiny brush?
DeletePowerful words and enough to tell the story of how Michael lived and died (I'm guessing this but he is at the front). Am loving five sentence fiction, sometimes less is definitely more! Loved this Kate.
ReplyDeleteThank you Shelley for stopping by and your kind words. I have found five sentence fiction to be quite addictive! :D Thanks
Deletei am totally amazed by the broad spectrum that you have at your command. Excellent work
ReplyDeleteThank you mansew.
Deletevery vivid! love it!
ReplyDeleteKate this is remarkable. You capture the very essence of a child going into battle. Extremely happy to read you.
ReplyDeleteHello Rambly & welcome to my blog :D I am glad you enjoyed this piece and thank you for taking the time to comment.
DeleteThis is a great piece. Wonderfully written. I am following you!
ReplyDeletelol! Thanks Ann and welcome to the show!
DeleteVery visual. Nice writing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, thats very kind.
DeleteReally descriptive piece very good :)
ReplyDeleteAlas, poor Michael, we hardly knew ye.
ReplyDeleteNicely done.
Cheers!
JzB
lol! thank you :)
DeleteVery nice. Wish there were a like button, though.
ReplyDeleteGood point! I shall add them from now on :D thanks
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