4 Jan 2014

Roll up, roll up! I have a visitor! Welcome...Muppets for Justice

Hello Addman and welcome to ‘The Suddenly Kate Show’, it’s great to have you here, I hope you like what I have done with the place.
Thanks, it's great to be here. I appreciate that you've cleaned the bloodstains out of the rug since my last visit.

I do try! Take a seat. I don’t have jammy dodgers so can I offer you a cookie?
No thanks, I'm full...of COURSE I'd like a cookie!

Now, there’s a rumour lighting up the internet right now that you have written a book. Is this fact or fiction?
Well it is a fact that I have written a fiction book. I think...

What inspired you to write a book?
The book is an extension of my Blog, Muppets For Justice, hence its name Muppets For Justice. It is a humorous collection of the best articles from my Blog, plus a whole load of new content. Think of it as a greatest hits album with a whole CD full of bonus tracks and unheard B sides.

Having stalked followed your blog for over a year now and having loved reading it, it’s sometimes silly, sometimes farcical, sometimes crazy but always funny and entertaining, I definitely will be adding this to my collection. So, where can I get my grubby mitts on it and can you tell us anything more?
I certainly can. The book will be available on Amazon  for download, so will be available for Kindle and e-readers, or you can download and view it on your PC. It's difficult to describe what it is about as it is a series of unconnected comedy articles. Topics include cuddling, ruining the Olympics, and starting your own cult, so there's something there for everyone.

Haha. Any chance of a sneak peak?
Yes. The following is an extract from a piece about a character named Mystic Mike, an astrologer who tries to seduce women with his psychic powers:
The steam from my cappuccino provides a visual metaphor for the rising heat of my passions. You sit there, blissfully unaware of the tantric wonderland that will be heading your way soon enough. Like a lamb unaware of the slaughter, your innocence only magnetises me towards you.

As I blow the foam aside to sip casually from my cup, I watch as you take a book from your bag. The opening of said book means that an opening for me has arisen. I rise from my seat without touching the floor, using the karmic waves of psychic power to glide over to your table.

You don’t notice as I intrusively pull up a seat. Using mind tricks I have rendered myself invisible by bending your perceptions around me. You might have said no to many other guys before, but you will not say no to Mystic Mike. My powers of persuasion are unparalleled within this realm. No one has ever said no before. I let my telekinetic shield fall, allowing you to notice me for the first time.

“50 Shades Of Grey? That’s a good book, but how do you like 50 SHADES OF VIBRANT COLOUR?!”

Opening my eyes, you can see a multi-coloured swirl around like a rainbow being brutally murdered in the shower. You are transfixed by this effervescent foreplay. You see all the colours you recognise, plus several new ones that remain unknown to all those that I haven’t yet seduced. The vibrant floorshow continues until the same lights are also circling around your own pupils. We are glaring at each other with a visual intensity greater than a HD TV.

And then it happens. You want nothing more than to join me in my world of transcendent colour. You push the table over in a hulked-out fit of enflamed ardour, and charge straight at me. I stop you mid-gallop with an outstretched palm. I understand your enthusiasm, but good things come to those who wait.

If I read your book backwards, will there be any subliminal messages?
No. If you've purchased the book then there's no need for subliminal messages. You've already handed over your money.

That is very true. So who designed the cover?
Me, which is probably why it's the worst part of the book. But hey, never judge a book by its cover, right?
Erm…*Hides cookies*
ADDMANThere are also a couple of illustrations provided by the marvellous Rob Z Tobor , which he has allowed me to use. He's a fantastic artist and you can view his Blog here.

Ah yes, I love his art and his blog is a great read.

So, what was the best bit about writing the book? Was there a worst bit?
The best bit is that I was able to go through some of my old writing and see how my style has changed. I was able to go back, jazz some parts up and make it flow better, which is an opportunity not afforded to many writers. The worst part was actually getting together the new stuff, and worrying that I'd have enough content to justify a release. That, and the cover.

What’s next on your to-do list?
I do have an actual full length novel in the works, but don't we all? Seriously though, I'm hoping that this foray into the world of self-publishing will provide me with some useful lessons for releasing said novel in the future. I'm not going to disclose anything further as I have a couple of side projects to finish first, so releasing this is not quite on the horizon yet.

Will we see a return of the Muppets for Justice podcast?
Funnily enough, that is one of the projects I intend to finish shortly in the New Year. Episode 6 is pretty much done, but just needs some editing and finalising. This episode is likely to be the last, unless there is a sudden surge of demand for it to return.

I guess that just leaves me to thank you for joining me on my blog today and wish you a wonderful 2014.

Anyone else got any questions?

3 comments:

  1. I've had Mystic Mike seduce me a few times. He never gave me his number.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have a sneaky suspicion that Mystic MIke actually wrote Robin Thickes song 'Blurred Lines'.

      Delete
  2. Hello both I hope I find you both well . . . . I say well as in meaning you are both OK, I do not mean you are both holes in the ground with water at the bottom and folk throw coins at you and make wishes ( I hate it when folk do that to me).

    Thank you for the plug. . . . . . I can have a bath now. . . . .HAH HH AH AH HAH AH H aha ha ha ha ha ha ha

    Strangely Mystic Mike turns up each year locally at the Montgomery Town Hall where he sells mystic stuff along with his fellow mystic stall holders. It is normally raining and not many folk turn up but it can be tough be a mystic. Its like that old joke . . . . . I tried to catch the train once but I mystic. . . . . HAH HAH AH HAH HAH HAHh a ha ha ha ha ha ha.

    Well done

    ReplyDelete

I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. Spill the beans...

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