6 Nov 2012

Tuesday Truths: Value

Tuesday TruthsToday is Tuesday and I decided last week to dedicate Tuesdays and Thursdays to Truths.
These truths can take the form of a rant or a true story. I thought (naively) that it would be easy to think of things. I decided I would need a prompt and after announcing on Twitter that today was Tuesday Truths and I needed inspiration (of which I would get from the next tweet) not one of the people I follow tweeted...I never knew I was so intimidating (i'm not) and a whole five minutes passed before @TheBloodyQuills retweeted. The Bloody Quills are a band that I reviewed recently which you can check out by clicking here. They retweeted an uberfact which was...
The Olympic Gold Medal is actually only 1.34% gold.

You would expect the Gold medal to be made of 100% gold but its not. How often have you met someone who has turned out to be nothing like they profess or seemed to be at first?
Many times you think someone is one thing and theyre not. You trust people at face value but the reality is often different. I am always trusting people and very many memories all start with..well, I met this person...but I recently (a few months ago) trusted someone based purely at face value and now I am questionnning that decision.
Over the months there have been instances when their behaviour has been of a competitive nature towards me. They are wasting their time with this because I am not a competitive person, ambitious yes but not competitive, I'll do something and I'll do it at my pace and to my own satisfaction, I wont compete against you. I believe that everyone has something to offer and deserves success and that no single person is better than any other. I dont compete against people and if I feel like I have become embroiled in a competition then I will stop whatever it is I am doing, I am me, you are you, and we all deserve to be judged on our own merit.
However, more recently the person has changed their style (and it has been a big change) and I can't help but think they have done so in an attempt to prove that they are better than I am. It annoys me that they have done this because it has gone hand in hand with a patronising manner and distancing themselves except for when they are fishing for information. I know that we are all different and go about things in different ways but I dont want anything to do with it. If you think that you are better than me then you are, because whatever I say in response, you will look down at me and say I dont know what I am talking about (thats because you think you're better than me). I am sure we all know someone lilke this.
So the purpose of my rant is to say; lets not compare ourselves to anyone else but to accept ourselves as we are; lets make changes in our lives for ourselves and not for anyone else; lets treat others how we expect to be treated.
Just be you, embrace your worth for you are valued, compete with yourself to be a better you, remember one person isnt better than another and that we all have something to offer.
More importantly, however similar you are to someone else, remember that you are different in equal measure and that is what makes you unique.
Now, be honest, who expected my rant to end like that?


  1. Hi Kate.

    Stuck at my weekly dose of brass band music. Doing the rounds of the blogs I like to visit. And I come across a Tuesday rant. I do love a good rant and have been known to use this personal pressure release on multiple occasions.

    I'm not accustom to leaving comments but I've got 90 mins of pirates of the Caribbean to get through.

    I've had an experience like you describe just these last couple of weeks. And it's interesting the different perspective we seem to approach it from.

    I've had been in contact with a person every day for the last four years during that time I could have hand on my heart said "I trust this person with my deepest secrets" only to have them a few weeks ago twist a knife in my back

    It would be easy to vent and blame the person. But i tend to take a more introspective approach. Question actions, what did I do? Was it something I said? What have I? What have, what have I done to deserve Briefly crosses my mind fleetingly but just that.

    Maybe it's a confidence thing. I'm not sure. I'm not that comfortable in my own skin to place the blame so firmly on someone else's shoulders for a friendship gone sour.

    In your "Tuesday truth" there doesn't seem to be an introspective insight. Maybe you just haven't written about it. I can't be sure

    There's so many questions that spring to mind after reading your post. Have you discussed the change in behaviour with your "friend" Maybe there's something going on in their life that they are struggling with, and they have become withdrawn to cope. I sometimes (well quite frequently actually, ask Fishie) when things are hard withdraw from social scenes. People cope in different ways

    Maybe they are testing your staying ability as a friend. So many are quick to judge. Friendship is all happy times with lollipops and laughing.

    Interesting you mention competitive behaviour. I think we sound like opposites lol. I played football/soccer at a high level. You could say I am a competitive person but i dont have an ambitious bone in my body.

    Just to stir the pot to take my mind off a brass band version of coldplays vida la vida ughhhhhh. I find ambitious people a lot more scary than competitive ones. Because ambition in my experience generally means stepping on people to get where you see the place you want or should be. But that's my perspective

    I mentioned I'm competitive and I am. But I couldn't give a monkeys about who, what other people are doing. The only person I'm interesting in "beating" is myself. Improving on my last effort. That's all that matters. I don't care if that gets me ahead in life or not. As long as I am happy with how I am growing as a person. And generally I'm not happy with my effort. So that keeps the edge going. It's tiring lol.

    In what way is the person being competitive? Could you be misconstruing the persons behaviour.

    Anyway I'm waffling and my fingers are getting tired. It's hard to write lots on an iPhone and I apologise for any parts that make no sense. It could be my typing or my muddled thoughts.

    One last comment / thought / piece of advice.

    Talk to the person, find out the full story. But I adde you did this before spilling it on a rant ;)

    Keep it up. Got me thinking :) and through most of band lol.

    1. Thanks Crustytoon, the nature of a rant is that it makes people think & question their views or even mine, but I am pleased that you have taken the time (albeit by default) and maybe it will encourage others to add their tuppence worth too. I do tend to keep rants to ranting on and on and save any introspection for poetry & fiction. I like to think that I always look for the best in people and assume that I am overanalysing (a tendency I have) or reading too much into a situation (a tendency I have) and happily accept that its probably just me. I dont hold grudges and I think this has served me well in being able to just put it behind me and carry on.
      As it happens the person I was ranting about is more of an acquaintance and I think that I will happily accept negative behaviour from someone who knows me, but from a virtual stranger it makes me vent.
      I love feedback and thank you for providing it :) Thanks again.

  2. You know me, you know I'm not the trusting sort, to earn my trust means your the greatest of humans (and that's a very small population of the earth for me, so congrats for making that list!). And having been the person that the majority of my world looks down upon, I completely agree with every point of your rant but one...I will ALWAYS be better than Smelly! HA! And you're a million times better than me in everyway...that's why I wanna be like you when I grow up (but unfortunately, I will probably never grow up!).

    1. I agree with your disagreement! You ARE and ALWAYS will be better than smelly. :) You are amazing! I'm not better than anyone - we're the same.


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