FSF Series 2012

'Awkward'

There was no air in the gallery and no noise either, it wouldn't be unreasonable to say that it was like being in a vacuum, but as she looked over at her companions face it occurred to her that she might not get a response...it looked like he had a vacuum all of his own, nicely positioned just between his ears.

When she looked back at the painting that was absorbing all his attention, its dull muted colours, gentle brush strokes and frivolous subject matter, it occurred to her in her bright blue dress and heavily made up face that this was what people meant when they said that she was 'no oil painting'.

When he spoke she nearly jumped out of her skin, his voice was much deeper than she had imagined and he spoke with a lisp - which seemed such an odd combination - she just stared blankly at him until his eyes met hers, she kept on staring and then she noticed his forehead crumple and realised he must have asked her something.

I said...'what do you think of the painting?', 'she looked at him and he was very attractive, but she couldn't quite figure out why her friends had set her up on a date with a man who barely spoke and who considered standing in silence a perfect activity for a first date, she was hot, bored and her feet were killing her, 'its shit' she mumbled as she looked back at him.

'I'm the artist' he replied.

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'Zombie'

She stood there looking at him, part shock and part embarrassment, she knew that he was waiting for her to say something but standing there open-mouthed, head lolling and eyes unblinking, all she could muster was 'ugh, gur, erm, ig, agh...'

Come on she told herself, you can do this, just say something, anything, standing here acting like an extra from The Walking Dead is really not improving this date.

She was surprised he hadn't just turned around and walked out already. She needed to refocus on something other than his stare that was very intent on giving her eyeballs a good pummeling.

She tilted her head down and looked at his chest, and there emblazoned across it was 'Night of the Living Dead'...she just might be able to salvage this date yet!

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'Devotion'

‘Sorry about that, I had something caught in my throat, ahem, wow, that’s better’ she said as she smiled up at him somewhat innocently.

‘So…you say you’re the artist? Where did you get your inspiration for this..erm..piece?’ she said as she waved her hand nonchalantly at the painting.

He snarled at her, he actually snarled at her, his lip curled up in one corner and he had a look of disdain plastered an inch thick all over his face, she knew he thought very little of her already but she was determined to salvage something of the evening and she was devoted to at least seeing it through to the bitter end.

‘the women in my life inspire me, and the everyday situations that we find ourselves in’ he practically spat at her.

‘I’m surprised you had enough for the one painting!’ she sneered back.

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