25 Apr 2013

FSF: Shadows

Its five sentence fiction time and I may have taken liberties with my sentences, but please forgive me and I hope you enjoy!

Shadows

The leaves rustled as the wind gently swished past them, causing Melody’s dress to flutter and threaten to expose her underwear,  she quickened her pace and with one hand she held onto the side of her dress; pulling the fabric tight to one side so it bunched in her hand and the dress clung to her thighs.
Although she could hear the cars that passed on the road nearby, the air itself seemed weighed down with an echoing silence, and she loosened the fabric slightly so she could move faster.
She always stayed close to the road, to people and to noise as like many she was scared of the dark; she did not fear the dark itself but what could be hidden out of sight, what could cause those shadows that she often saw or imagined, what could be waiting there for her.
She reached her destination, slightly out of breath, but with plenty of time and she released her skirt so she could move freely.
She opened her bag and pulled out her keys and threw them onto the middle of the pathway, Melody shuffled back into the shadows, and with one hand on her gun she waited, unseen, for him to come.

19 comments:

  1. Ah, jealousy! Crimes of passion! An excellent start for a longer tale, should you wish.

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    1. Thanks Naila, maybe...although it is definitely a scene that couls slot into my current online series at some point...great suggestion :D and thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment.

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  2. The main character initially felt like a young girl to me so the ending was a huge surprise. Nice detail with her dress in the breeze...always tricky.

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    1. Im not entirely sure whether a dress in the breeze is tricky, the detail is tricky or five sentence in fiction is! but I appreciate you taking the time to comment and when I wrote this piece, the character was early twenties in my head.

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    2. I think I just confused myself. Doh!

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  3. Wow! Great writing! I am not often surprised, but you sure surprised me!

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    1. Thank you Rachael, I am glad you enjoyed it and I hope you will stop back again for more surprises. If you go to the Marjie Myers Writing page there are links to other FSFs. Thanks again.

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  4. Excellent! Hope she gets the right guy!
    Scott
    Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/04/25/five-sentence-fiction-shadows-4252013/

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    1. Hehe...I'll have to think about that one :) I look forward to popping by to read yours.

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  5. Loved reading it. It seems we both had some of the same elements in our endeavors.
    DARK STREETS
    WOMAN IN FEAR
    SHADOWS [You in the shadows. Me fearful of them.]

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    1. I shall check it out, i was torn between this and puppets, lol!

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  6. Intriguing tale! I can see her in my mind's motion picture.

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  7. Loved the ending, wasn't expecting that. Sounds like one hell of an upset woman!
    Great writing.

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    1. Hehe...how fun it is to live vicariously through your characters! lol

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  8. And she seemed to be such a sweet girl...

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I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. Spill the beans...

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